At Palagio, we understand the difficulty behind the decision to leave home and come to a community such as ours. That is why our team strives to be a resource to you and your family in these often-difficult times. Compiled below is a list of resources that we have found helpful and informative to those making the decisions. Though we cannot anticipate every situation, the team at Palagio strives to ensure that every question you may have is answered, and every concern addressed. Should you or your family have any questions about what to expect, or the process of making the transition, we encourage you to reach out and discuss them with our knowledgeable, compassionate team.
How to Have THE Conversation -it’s as easy as 1-2-3-4
First, realize your parents were there for you; now, you must be there for them. As your parents age, they will become more frail, forgetful and vulnerable. It’s the natural aging process. The time to talk about moving to Palagio is when you begin to see these signs, not after Mom or Dad suffers a painful fall, a financial scam or emotional devastation. Again, and again, family waits too late to have this difficult conversation. Spare yourself the craziness and your loved one the harm and injury. Talking about health, housing and finances can be difficult -but it doesn’t have to be.
1. Pick a Good Time and Place
The best place is usually in the comfort of their home -in controlled, familiar surroundings. Timing is important and it’s best to talk when your Mom or Dad is fresh. Without interruption. When there aren’t other people milling around. When you aren’t in the midst of a holiday event like Thanksgiving dinner or a birthday party. When it’s quiet. Calm. Perhaps after you’ve spent some time reminiscing about the good old days or wondering about what’s happened to people you’ve known. Turn off all TVs and radios. And if two of you go, then one can do most of the talking while the other listens and handles interruptions. This is one of the most important talks you will ever have.
2. Start with Your Heart
Tell them you love them. Tell them you want to walk beside them into the years ahead and make sure they are safe, happy, healthy and remain as independent as possible. Reassure them you want to fulfill their wishes. Let them know they can always depend on you to help maintain their way of life and help them to make the right decisions.
3. Share Your Concern(s)
Maybe you’ve heard Mom or Dad fell. They may be struggling to keep up the house or pay their bills on time. Are their medications in disarray? Taking too much or too little -even out of sequence is dangerous. Sometimes there isn’t enough good food in the house. Has cooking become a burden? Do they buy fresh foods and throw out the old? Your parents need to know you care. Point out the concerns you have. Be specific. Be persistent. LISTEN to them. But don’t let these issues get dismissed. They are warning signs your parents need help. Because you love them, let your parents know you want to come up with good solutions. You don’t want to wait for a harmful event to be the reason you finally take action. You want to do it now before any damage is done.
4. Make a Plan of Action
There are a lot of possibilities to consider. You can look into the cost and coordination of in-home care. If you live nearby, you may be able to take on the cleaning, repair and maintenance of your parents’ home. You could buy a daily morning-noon-night pill dispenser and preload their medications each week. You could go to the grocery store regularly and pick up the fresh foods they need. Maybe you can also do some of the cooking. You can improve the walking safety around the house by removing rugs and obstacles that are trip hazards. And get them a walker to help with balance.
Of course, one of the best things you can do is to let them know you’ve heard about a wonderful, new community in town for seniors called Palagio (Pa-la-gee-oh) which means “palace” in Italian. Tell them you’d like to schedule a tour to see what it looks like. Ask them if they will go with you to check it out. There are never any obligations when you take a tour, and we’ll be happy to answer your questions and show you how easy it is to move in to Palagio.
